Don't worry..."B" happy.

During the chaos of my recent months I told myself that one day I would just be doing my normal routine, and it would dawn on me that my load seemed lighter.

You know that feeling when you are potty training your child, and it feels like they are NEVER going to figure this out! It seems like you will be cleaning up accidents for the rest of your life! You occasionally let yourself think that you will pick your child up from the church nursery for the next five years discovering that she is not in the same pair of pants that she was in when you dropped her off. But more than not, you tell yourself that ONE DAY, she WILL figure it out. You tell yourself that ONE DAY, the realization will just sneak up on you. And out of nowhere that day arrives, and it dawns on you that your child has not only been accident free for weeks, but she is 100% going to the bathroom on her own without comment or assistance.

That has happened for me. In my dreariest days of being overwhelmed by life's demands, and my own expectations, I continued to tell myself that this is just a season...things will ease up. And it was...just a season. At the beginning of this week, I felt a peace. I think my Uncle's memorial helped, I think it's helpful that I stopped giving Wyatt this steriod nose spray for his allergies (his attitude has greatly improved), I think it's helpful to do school in the afternoon, I think it is helpful that the planning part of MOPS is over, and we are almost on cruise-control, but most of all I can't help to deny the fact that God moves mountains during intense prayer and fasting.

At our most recent MOPS meeting this past Wednesday, we had a lady come and speak to our group about being resilient mothers. It was a GREAT topic, and she taught it so well. She had charts, and cartoon drawings, and a power point presentation...but her simplest point is what struck a chord with me. She said plainly that, "Sometimes as mothers, we have to take a pass. A passing grade. Sometimes, we have to throw up our hands, and accept the 'B'. We cannot be perfect all of the time."

I looooved this. Many people have told me that we cannot be perfect all of the time...but that is so generic. Many people have told me that sometimes we just have to settle for a "C" or a "D" in life, as that is still not failing...but that is unacceptable to me...I do NOT want to be average (or below)! BUT, a "B"!?...I can live with! I will still strive for the "A", becuase that's just who I am. But occasionally, I can be cool with taking the "B" for my own sanity, and for those that have to deal with my drive.

So, in God's usual humor, this speach happened on Wednesday, and the very next day I had an opportunity to exercise what I had learned. When I woke on Thursday, I looked at my calendar and began to feel anxious at the towering list of things to do. I needed to workout, take Wyatt to piano lessons, shop for the ingredients I would be using to make some amazing desserts this weekend, go to our mommy & me park day, do some minor work during the kids nap time, prep one of the desserts, go to a birthday party, put the kids to bed, help my mom decorate her house for Halloween, and finally go.to.bed. I was overwhelmed, but I COULD DO IT! I got my workout in, and then we were rushing off to piano lessons! But in the space of time of piano lessons, when I am forced to be still for 30 minutes, and soley focus on reading my Beatrice some books, or just sit on the porch swing and listen to Wyatt play piano while Beatrice is playing in the instructor's front yard, it dawned on me..."WHY?...Why are you doing this? You were feeling so good for the last few days, why are you trying to be Super Woman?" I knew in that moment that I was going to for-go something, and take the "B". I never back out of anything...especially when I have said I will be there, but I did it! I decided to skip out on the park day. And after I had made my decision, literally 10 minutes later I got a call that the park day had been canceled (I later found out that it wasn't, but whatever, in the moment I felt good that the kids and I were not missing out.) And then, a couple of hours later, I got a phone call from my friend letting me know that the birthday party was canceled. Mercy was showering down on me. My schedule was immediately doable, and peace had returned. :0)

The kids and I had so much fun at the specialty candy store picking out the treats for the desserts, and we even had time after dinner for all of us to chase Wyatt on his bike.

I'm beginning to think that a "B" is the new "A".