10...

In my final 10 days of the fast, day 10 was a doosie! :0(

No I didn't eat...nor did I want to.

All of my chubby life, I have always feared the "H.A."...the heart attack. In my ignorant little mind, I have looked at the obese people around me and thought, "Hey, THEY are still alive and kicking...what's another cheeseburger gonna do!?" I was solely focused on the finish line...you are either alive...or you are not. However, in the last few months, I have chatted with some fellow overweight people (that I happen to love dearly, and therefore will not be giving them a shout-out, lol) and in casual conversation, I have learned of their current ailments they are dealing with due to their being overweight for so long. One of them has terrible foot pain, and the others have horrible pain in their knees. While none of these issues are life or death problems, it has really made an impression on me. "For the time that we are here on Earth, what kind of life do you want to live?" Do you want to abuse your body to the point that it is uncomfortable to walk your kids to the park? Do you want to ware your knee(s) down so bad that by the time you are 40-50 years old that you can't do the lunges at that Boot Camp fitness class? I am such an all-or-nothing person, and unfortunately (for the way my mind works) life is not that way. We are not just alive (and well) or dead.

So how does this relate to my day 10?

I had an early start to my morning. :0( I woke up with a weird achy feeling in my upper abdomen area at 4:30 this morning. I called my mom (like a good daughter should) and told her that I just didn't feel right...she told me to the call the doctor. Which I didn't...like a bad daughter. I decided that I would try to sleep it off. Well at 5:00 A.M. the pain came back, but with vengeance. I was having a hard time breathing, and wouldn't you know it, Beatrice woke up and was demanding that she be taken to the bathroom. The pain was so bad, that I couldn't walk. I crawled to her bedroom, and gave her permission to climb out of her crib, and go to the bathroom herself. I knew I was in trouble at this point. I called my mom again, and she said she was on her way over, but that I had to call the doctor this time (lol). I tried to call the doctor but the answering service has you input a ton of different numbers and I was struggling to breathe and so I panicked...I hung up and called 911. All of this happened so quickly...although, in the moment, it seemed like FOREVER! The paramedics (TWO ambulances)...the firemen (one full scale fire engine)...and THREE sheriff cars pulled up to my house within 10 minutes. TWELVE men were in my house (not counting my Wyatt, who thought this was the coolest thing to have goin' on at our house at 5:05 A.M.)...and of course, I was NO LONGER in pain! UGH! I felt horrible to have all of these guys in my house and for no reason! The main paramedic was a TOTAL jerk, and rolled his eyes each time he reported a normal reading to his partner on my blood pressure, my pulse, etc. He read me the riot act for fasting and went on and on about how someone else is benefiting by me fasting!? Needless to say, they left, and I cried. My mom showed up right after they had left, and she made me call the doctor immediately. And I did...that time. And again, while I was on the phone with the nurse (at 5:30 A.M.), the pain in my upper abdomen, and upper back, returned. She walked me through the pain, and after about 8 minutes, things settled down. After asking me 100 (or so) questions, she said I needed to go to the emergency room. Within about 15 minutes, my mom and I packed up the kids and we were off.

I'm actually really tired right now, so I'm gonna chill out on the details, and try and move this story along.

We left for the E.R. at 6:00 A.M. and I was home by 8:00 A.M. Short and sweet! In a nutshell, the doctor did an ultrasound, and it turns out that I have gallstones....and that I had been having "Gallbladder Attacks." I knew nothing about the gallbladder before today, and after today, I know very little about the gallbladder. However, this morning, I did learn 3 things about Gallbladder Attacks:

1. The Gallstones will not go away (like a kidney stone eventually does).
2. At some point the pain becomes unbearable and the only way to rectify the situation is to have your gallbladder removed.
3. This condition is brought on by eating fatty/greasy foods.

Items 1 and 2 on that list are irritating/alarming. However, item number 3 makes me sad..disappointed in myself. While I find it ironic that this has come about when I haven't eaten in 30 days (!!!) I can't help but to recount all of the cheeseburgers, and french fries, and ice cream, and blah, blah, blaaaaaaaah I have consumed in my 29 years. I have been a bad "keeper" of this temple God gave me. I am foolish. Many times I chose immediate gratification when I knew better. When I KNOW better. The selfish choices I have made, have actually...finally...harmed my body.

I never did have another gallbladder attack since 5:30 this morning, but now I feel like a sitting duck. When is it coming back!? It's just a matter of time.

"Day 10...WOO.HOO."