The Fast...in general.

I have been told that my last blog post left some "wanting more," and since I have had two full days to reflect on the previous 40 days, I will share my perspective on both the personal and spiritual aspects of my journey.

Personally- I currently have a sense of excitement, a healthy dose of pride, and quite a bit of bloating (but that will have to be a separate blog post, LOL!). I know that I could not have done this without the strength and mercy from the Lord, the support from my husband (especially), and the other family and friends that were praying for me and encouraging me. Keeping that in mind, there were plenty of opportunities for me to fail, and I did not. I felt strong 39 days. I felt I could do this 39 days. I felt zero doubt for 39 of the 40 days. Day 39 was the first and only day that the true debilitating (mental) effects of fasting took hold. I honestly wasn't sure if I was going to make it the full 40 days on day 39. While that day was certainly NOT my favorite day on the fast, I am grateful for day 39. I think I would have felt like I cheated if I had walked away from the fast, and could honestly say, "It was basically a walk in the park." I am grateful for the moments of fear and doubt on day 39, for it only made my triumph that more meaningful. "I can do ALL things through Christ who strengthens me!"- Philippians 4:13.

Some random personal tidbits: 1. I can now drink regular V8 juice without pinching my nose closed. 2. EVERYTHING tastes 1,000 times better after not eating for 40 days. 3. I lost a total of 23 pounds while fasting (and 30 pounds even since beach camping.)

Spiritually- Just as a reminder, the reason that hundreds (possibly thousands?) of churches across our nation were fasting was to affirm the sanctity of Life (meaning, to put an end to abortion), Marriage (meaning, to keep or return the legal definition of marriage to be between one man and one woman), and Religious Freedom. All 3 of those reasons for fasting are of GREAT importance to me, and I have played an active role in publicizing these issues during 3 separate occasions in my life.

When I was just out of High School, I raised money for, and participated in a "walk" to end abortion. Shortly after that, I had an important person in my life that was faced with the decision on whether to have an abortion. She reached out to me (obviously knowing my stance). Unfortunately she decided to have the abortion. There was no fight, or debate, or verbal condemnation on my part, but at the time, we pretty much parted ways. It was bummer. I'm not sure how soon we came in contact again with one another (1 year, 2 years, later?), but we did, and we have remained GREAT friends! She is my ONLY great friend that does not share my religious views or my political beliefs, but one thing we both have in common is the regret from the decision she made on the day she terminated her first pregnancy. Her and her boyfriend (at the time) have since married, and have had 2 additional children...both of our children are the SAME.EXACT.AGES...just days apart. But her family does not feel complete without that first child in their life. :0(

As far as fighting for traditional marriage to remain/return in our Nation, I feel I played as active of a role as I was capable of, during our last set of elections back in November of 2008. I was given a list of specific streets in my precinct to visit, and since Beatrice was still a baby, I strapped her in a "front pack" and we went door to door asking my fellow neighbors/voters their stance on same-sex marriage...in hopes to engage in conversation and change their minds if they should oppose my opinion on the subject. ;0) In addition, I was one of those annoying people on myspace (what's that!?) that posted articles and my own personal opinions on the topic of same-sex marriage, and I reached out to my own friends and family and asked if they would be willing to sign the petitions that were needed to get the infamous "Proposition 8" on the ballot. (Which it did get on the ballot...and "Yes on 8" was successful on election day!)

As far as religious freedoms are concerned, I was on the leadership team in my High School's (Shout out to Mt. Carmel H.S. and my fellow "Sundevils"!) Christian Club, and I organized the "Pray at the Pole" rally in my Junior and Senior years of High School. In addition to that, my family prays without ceasing every time we eat in public, and prior to having children, I preferred to read my Bible amongst God's glorious creation either on the top of Mount Helix, or while enjoying the view at Mission Bay or Lake Murray. I have never encountered a problem while praying or reading my Bible in public, however, I understand that this happens to others on a regular basis. I have always been open about my religious views at school and in all of my places of employment, and while I have never been penalized (that I am aware of) for voicing those views (in a respectable, and when deemed appropriate, manner), I understand that I am in the minority.

Wow, I didn't intend to go into great detail about all of that. Back to my spiritual journey on the fast...

I prayed for those three topics every day, and I meditated on the positive and negative effects of those issues over the 40 days of fasting. But that is it. I guess we will learn the result of our fasting on election day and in the future days, weeks and years that follow. We, yes, we, need to continue to pray for our Nation always, and to take active (meaning, move your body) roles in supporting the causes we believe in.

Spiritually, I was in awe and empowered by the mercy that was given to me during this time. I.LOVE.TO.EAT. I thought this was going to be next to impossible. It was totally possible...through Him. Daily, I was very much aware of the grace that was being given to me, and in return, it became second nature for me to share that same grace with others. I tend to be judgmental (not always in the good way), and quick to criticize (in my mind, not verbally). And during the last 40 days it felt so freeing to give people the benefit of the doubt when things weren't done "correctly." I pray this trait isn't short lived.

In addition, I've been in a bit of a friendship-rut. My sister Jenni has ALWAYS been my #1 female bestie, and while I hope that NEVER changes, I always like to have a #2 bestie in place. Unfortunately, I can't eat, sleep, breathe, my sister Jenni, like I would prefer, so I think it's a good idea to have another outlet to put that energy into, LOL! I have spent the last 17 months praying for a new "#2" to come my way. I have spent all of those months in self discovery (what kind of friend am I?) as well. I "tried on" a few friends, but to no avail. Finding a #1 and a #2 bestie is a LOT like selecting your spouse. And, I even created a written list of the qualities I wanted in a #2 bestie (basically, could Jenni be cloned!? HAHAHA!). Well during this fast, I'm pretty sure God has answered, and is answering my prayer. Meaning...I'm on my way to having two #2 besties...bestie 2-A & bestie 2-B, LOL! (Yes, I am in the 7th grade!) A long time acquaintance, has made an impact in my life in these last few months, but most importantly in these last 40 days! She has been generous in words and in action. I have so appreciated her unexpected friendship (shout out to Katie)! However, she doesn't meet every single one of my requirements for a "#2." She isn't currently married. So, that left a spot open for "#2-B" (hee-hee). I'm a little apprehensive about going into to great detail about "#2-B" as we are still in the "dating" phase of our relationship, but I have wonderful hopes for our friendship, and on paper (my written list), she is perfect. :0) I have been patient and prayerful about my "#2" and in typical God fashion, He is full of surprise and wonderment. I am blessed for the budding and blooming relationships that formed over these last 40 days.

Some other random spiritual tidbits: 1. The spiritual effects I obtained from fasting, I would equate to the "mountain top experience" you get at a Christian retreat...only it doesn't cost any money, you still get to function in the real world, AND instead of the Spiritual high happening for 2+ days, it lasts for 40+ days. 2. I look forward to doing it again in the future!!!...just don't ask me to do it anytime soon! ;0)

Z-E-R-O!

In true fasting/PMS fashion, I was at the lowest of my lows yesterday, and today I am experiencing the highest high! :0) Finishing strong indeed!

I have been having a wonderful day! It started early. For the last few weeks my bosses (shout out to Trisha & Judy of RE/MAX Associates) have been plotting and planning our witch costumes for this day. This isn't my usual Friday to work, but they asked me to participate in this special "event"/business meeting...and I was happy to.

While I was at the meeting, my newly pregnant friend (Shout out to Kimberly!) watched the kids for me. She later emailed me the cutest Wyatt story...

"I forgot to tell you...Wyatt said “Mrs. Loren, my mom said you’re president!” I was like, “Hmm, I think maybe what she was trying to tell you is that I’m pregnant.” Ohhhh! “How ‘bout if it’s a boy we name it Davey Jones?” hahahaha I especially like the “we” part – he already feels very involved in the process!"

The highlight of my day...well, one of the highlights of my day:

Going grocery shopping for this next week of eating!!! :0)

What are my eating plans for tomorrow?:

I plan to eat soft/cooked vegetables, and try some chicken noodle soup. HOWEVER, I currently have Amish friendship bread baking in the oven, and my piece of lasagna defrosting in the refrigerator. So we'll see what happens!? ;0)

3...2...1...

"Keep on truckin'! "

As the end draws near, this is getting harder. I can see food in my immediate future...it's getting so close I can almost taste it...almost.

Wyatt went with some family to Disneyland's trick-or-treat festivities on Tuesday night. He came home yesterday with SO.MUCH.CANDY! And of course, it's all the good stuff. When we were at the "candy" wedding a couple of weeks ago, I wasn't tempted by the treats at all. But yesterday, when my husband & I were looking through Wyatt's bag of candy, I told my husband not to judge me if he wakes up and finds me in a pile of candy wrappers!

And, I'm officially irritable. It's been a long week. My husband & I had been bickering, which is really odd for us. I'm not trying to say we're perfect, and never fight. I'm just trying to say we're mostly perfect (for us), becuase we almost never fight! ;0) So when we are irritated with one another, it's completely annoying. I hate to not be liked. Especially by him. But if I have learned anything in the last 1o years with my husband, it's that the McRib sandwich at McDonald's cures all. (Yeah he has a chubby side too, lol) I'm so relieved this seasonal sandwich made it's return this week. My husband could not deny me an apology when I brought him home a peace offering in the form of Golden Arches! Unfortunately he didn't discover a way to liquefy the lasagna in my freezer, a stuffed crust pizza from Pizza Hut, or a Reeses Peanut Butter Cup for me. Waaa.

Today has been the hardest day on the fast...unfortunately I said the same thing yesterday...and the day before that. Truth be told, I am not hungry, or craving anything specifically. I just have this very unsatisfied feeling. I'm holding it together on the outside, but on the inside I am 10 seconds away from crying, freeking out, and/or lashing out at the next person that slightly annoys me (that could pretty much be ANYONE!). I hate that I am crumbling (emotionally) at the end. I always like to finish strong. :0(

5...4...

Sweet 16...

So, over the weekend, I decided to pull out some of my old (smaller) clothes, and my 16's TOTALLY fit! And not just "I can technically button them, fit"...I'm talkin' they are VERY comfortable! More than the weight-loss I have been seeing on the scale, getting into these clothes was very exciting! I haven't been able to wear these items since before I even started this blog. I am totally anticipating gaining some of this "fast-weight" back (that's just the nature of the beast), but I am praying that after my body acclimates to eating again, I will still be rockin' these clothes. I will be BUMMED to have to pull my chubby(er) clothes back out again! :0( But one thing is for sure, if this blog has taught me anything, this time around I will NOT be getting rid of the (very few) chubby clothes I do have! HAHAHA!

I'm pretty sure I got a taste of what's to come in my near future...and it's no bueno. In a rage of what I'm guessing to be actual PMS, I indulged and had a cup of DELICIOUS hot cocoa that I made from scratch. In the moment, I was relieved to find the loop-hole to chocolate in an all liquid diet! :0) A couple of hours later, I was visiting my mom, and she sent me home with a juice-box type thing of Hershey's Chocolate milk...it too tasted incredible! (Yeah, I'm an idiot.) :0/

6 hours later...my stomach is still gurgling. :0( I haven't consumed this much sugar and dairy in...well...45 days??? Yipes.

8...7...6...

It's Saturday afternoon, and it seems unreal that at this time...next week...I will be eating! :0)

I should report, that after my last post, I was convicted...and empowered...to throw away all of the treats in my freezer. I did not toss the lasagna, as that is a legitimate meal, and well, here in the Brumbaugh house we don't throw away legitimate food. :0) But as far as the cupcakes and candy were concerned, I figured I had gone this long without them, and I didn't die by not having an opportunity try them on the spot, so what does it matter if I never eat those particular treats!? Adios mi-non-amigos!

I have continued to be a cupcake baking machine over the last few days. A gal that attended the MOPS Tiny Tot Costume party on Wednesday, loved my confections so much that she wanted 2 dozen of the same cupcakes for her Halloween party that she had last night. I too agree, that they were quite adorable! But then again, I'm the type of (chubby) person that finds cupcakes to be "adorable"!

In other chubby news...I ran out of my standard protein shake powder yesterday, and since I only have less than a week to go of fasting, I figured I would splurge and see what all of the fuss over "Muscle Milk" is about. For all of you fellow Big Brother watchers...Lane was wrong..."Muscle Milk" does NOT taste like Thanksgiving Dinner! BLECH!

That's about it for me...no pain...other than the burn from my workout this morning. ;0)

9...

Day 9 was uneventful...just the way I like it! :0)

However, I did some research on Gallstones during the kids' nap-time today, and what I discovered was so interesting...

"The gallbladder is a small sac found just under the liver. It stores bile made by the liver. Bile helps you digest fats. Bile moves from the gallbladder to the small intestine through tubes called the cystic duct and common bile duct."

While it was neat to discover the purpose of the gallbladder, the more intriguing part was when it described the cause for gallstones...

"Gallstones form when cholesterol and other things found in bile make stones. They can also form if the gallbladder does not empty as it should. People who are overweight or who are trying to lose weight quickly are more likely to get gallstones."

HELLO! Sound familiar!?

While I am not trying to lose weight at a rapid pace right now, surely that has been a side effect of the fast. This might be the reason they say people should consult their physician before fasting for 40 days! LOL!

It also went on to say that I may never experience another attack again. However, if a 2nd attack should come, it means that future attacks will follow. Interesting.

I was talking to my friend this morning about this whole ordeal, and she had mentioned that this probably happened for a reason. And I know it did. As the fast has begun to wind down, I have started to feel anxious. On one hand I cannot wait to eat again! But on the other hand I am so nervous to be able to eat again! I don't know if I am going to be able to show restraint. As I have previously mentioned, in the research I had done for the fast, I had read that a 40 day fast can transform your relationship with food. Specifically, if you have a pattern of over indulging, that those desires and tendencies can be removed from your thought process.

But as the fasting-finish-line is approaching, I don't feel the least bit improved in this area. At this point in the fast, without making a big deal about it on the outside, on the inside I am very much aware of how I feel that I am "missing out" on eating certain foods. I have a (fairly big) piece of lasagna waiting for me in the freezer. I have 2 pumpkin cupcakes with cream cheese frosting that I made, waiting for me in the freezer. I have 2 mini Toblerone chocolate bars that I have saved in the freezer from the last wedding we went to. The other day I purchased a $15 "Groupon" for $35 worth of dining at "Parkhouse Eatery." What is Parkhouse Eatery?...I have no idea! However, the picture of the their food looked incredible! (I need to unsubscribe from Groupon while I am fasting...it's like going grocery shopping on an empty stomach!) I don't feel changed. I have been praying and pleading that I would be miraculously "healed" from this way of thinking and these desires. I have even uttered, "Lord, make it so I can't return to my destructive ways." Be careful what you ask for.

The information I read today about gallstones also went on to say that you could prevent future gallstones by:

• Staying close to a healthy weight by eating a balanced diet and getting regular exercise.
• Avoid rapid weight loss. Intentional weight loss (dieting, as opposed to weight loss from illness) followed by weight gain may increase your risk of gallstones, especially if you are a woman. If you need to lose weight, do so slowly and sensibly.

I'm not trying to be melodramatic...I know that I will not die from gallstones or from even having my gallbladder removed. However, the pain I experienced yesterday will hopefully be enough motivation for me to ditch my old ways, and to enjoy treats (whether it be sweet, salty, or fatty) in moderation, and irregularly.

10...

In my final 10 days of the fast, day 10 was a doosie! :0(

No I didn't eat...nor did I want to.

All of my chubby life, I have always feared the "H.A."...the heart attack. In my ignorant little mind, I have looked at the obese people around me and thought, "Hey, THEY are still alive and kicking...what's another cheeseburger gonna do!?" I was solely focused on the finish line...you are either alive...or you are not. However, in the last few months, I have chatted with some fellow overweight people (that I happen to love dearly, and therefore will not be giving them a shout-out, lol) and in casual conversation, I have learned of their current ailments they are dealing with due to their being overweight for so long. One of them has terrible foot pain, and the others have horrible pain in their knees. While none of these issues are life or death problems, it has really made an impression on me. "For the time that we are here on Earth, what kind of life do you want to live?" Do you want to abuse your body to the point that it is uncomfortable to walk your kids to the park? Do you want to ware your knee(s) down so bad that by the time you are 40-50 years old that you can't do the lunges at that Boot Camp fitness class? I am such an all-or-nothing person, and unfortunately (for the way my mind works) life is not that way. We are not just alive (and well) or dead.

So how does this relate to my day 10?

I had an early start to my morning. :0( I woke up with a weird achy feeling in my upper abdomen area at 4:30 this morning. I called my mom (like a good daughter should) and told her that I just didn't feel right...she told me to the call the doctor. Which I didn't...like a bad daughter. I decided that I would try to sleep it off. Well at 5:00 A.M. the pain came back, but with vengeance. I was having a hard time breathing, and wouldn't you know it, Beatrice woke up and was demanding that she be taken to the bathroom. The pain was so bad, that I couldn't walk. I crawled to her bedroom, and gave her permission to climb out of her crib, and go to the bathroom herself. I knew I was in trouble at this point. I called my mom again, and she said she was on her way over, but that I had to call the doctor this time (lol). I tried to call the doctor but the answering service has you input a ton of different numbers and I was struggling to breathe and so I panicked...I hung up and called 911. All of this happened so quickly...although, in the moment, it seemed like FOREVER! The paramedics (TWO ambulances)...the firemen (one full scale fire engine)...and THREE sheriff cars pulled up to my house within 10 minutes. TWELVE men were in my house (not counting my Wyatt, who thought this was the coolest thing to have goin' on at our house at 5:05 A.M.)...and of course, I was NO LONGER in pain! UGH! I felt horrible to have all of these guys in my house and for no reason! The main paramedic was a TOTAL jerk, and rolled his eyes each time he reported a normal reading to his partner on my blood pressure, my pulse, etc. He read me the riot act for fasting and went on and on about how someone else is benefiting by me fasting!? Needless to say, they left, and I cried. My mom showed up right after they had left, and she made me call the doctor immediately. And I did...that time. And again, while I was on the phone with the nurse (at 5:30 A.M.), the pain in my upper abdomen, and upper back, returned. She walked me through the pain, and after about 8 minutes, things settled down. After asking me 100 (or so) questions, she said I needed to go to the emergency room. Within about 15 minutes, my mom and I packed up the kids and we were off.

I'm actually really tired right now, so I'm gonna chill out on the details, and try and move this story along.

We left for the E.R. at 6:00 A.M. and I was home by 8:00 A.M. Short and sweet! In a nutshell, the doctor did an ultrasound, and it turns out that I have gallstones....and that I had been having "Gallbladder Attacks." I knew nothing about the gallbladder before today, and after today, I know very little about the gallbladder. However, this morning, I did learn 3 things about Gallbladder Attacks:

1. The Gallstones will not go away (like a kidney stone eventually does).
2. At some point the pain becomes unbearable and the only way to rectify the situation is to have your gallbladder removed.
3. This condition is brought on by eating fatty/greasy foods.

Items 1 and 2 on that list are irritating/alarming. However, item number 3 makes me sad..disappointed in myself. While I find it ironic that this has come about when I haven't eaten in 30 days (!!!) I can't help but to recount all of the cheeseburgers, and french fries, and ice cream, and blah, blah, blaaaaaaaah I have consumed in my 29 years. I have been a bad "keeper" of this temple God gave me. I am foolish. Many times I chose immediate gratification when I knew better. When I KNOW better. The selfish choices I have made, have actually...finally...harmed my body.

I never did have another gallbladder attack since 5:30 this morning, but now I feel like a sitting duck. When is it coming back!? It's just a matter of time.

"Day 10...WOO.HOO."

The Buzz Lightyear of Cupcakes??? LOL!

My Sisters are hilarious. After seeing my latest creations, they have deemed me "The Buzz Lightyear of cupcakes"...To infinity...and BEYOND!

Inside these "lollipops" are actually cake and frosting mixed together. They are technically called "Cake Pops." Or, if you prefer chocolate instead of a candy coating, you would enjoy, "Cake Balls"...

They are delicious! A friend (shout out to Pam!) introduced cake balls to me a couple of months ago. And a couple of weeks ago, my mom, not knowing that I had tried these before, had surprised me with a "Cake Pops" cookbook found at Williams Sonoma which has a TON of super cute ideas you can do with these cake balls. Hence the Halloween themed treats above.

In addition to those tasty confections, I also made a new recipe out of the "Sticky Chewy Messy Gooey" cookbook I received. The recipe is entitled, "Quickberry Quackberry Apple Blackberry Crumble." It looked, it smelled, and it was reported to me to be DELICIOUS!


The family enjoyed these desserts at my mom's annual Halloween party for her grand kids. We had a ton of fun, and other incredible food was served. My mom makes an amazing lasagna with her homemade sauce, and in recent months she has now driven to a specialty Italian store to purchase fresh ricotta cheese. I didn't eat any...but, I am not going to lie...I took a large piece home and it is waiting for me in the freezer. She also served grilled vegetables (asparagus, portobelo mushrooms, sweet peppers, onions, and zucchini), garlic bread, and a cesar salad. At the end of the meal most of my family resembled the pumpkin my dad had carved just hours before...

Every year my mom also prepares a pumpkin soup from scratch that most of us turn our (snobby) noses to. I mean, after all, when such a delicious menu is set before you, who would waste space in their tummy for the pumpkin soup!?!? I of course partaked in the pumpkin soup this year, and I will NEVER pass it up again in the future. It is WON.DER.FUL. I'm grateful for leftovers...especially when my clan will be enjoying their leftovers tonight also!

The halloween party was a blast as usual. We carved pumpkins, we ate dinner, the kids opened presents, everyone played perfectly together, we put the kids to bed, the adults played games, and we each laughed 100 times throughout the evening! Here are a few pictures...




Even if you don't know my family, I think these pictures will make you smile...or maybe it's just me :0)


Small update on the fast...

I ate food today!


But no worries, it was just communion. :0)

Don't worry..."B" happy.

During the chaos of my recent months I told myself that one day I would just be doing my normal routine, and it would dawn on me that my load seemed lighter.

You know that feeling when you are potty training your child, and it feels like they are NEVER going to figure this out! It seems like you will be cleaning up accidents for the rest of your life! You occasionally let yourself think that you will pick your child up from the church nursery for the next five years discovering that she is not in the same pair of pants that she was in when you dropped her off. But more than not, you tell yourself that ONE DAY, she WILL figure it out. You tell yourself that ONE DAY, the realization will just sneak up on you. And out of nowhere that day arrives, and it dawns on you that your child has not only been accident free for weeks, but she is 100% going to the bathroom on her own without comment or assistance.

That has happened for me. In my dreariest days of being overwhelmed by life's demands, and my own expectations, I continued to tell myself that this is just a season...things will ease up. And it was...just a season. At the beginning of this week, I felt a peace. I think my Uncle's memorial helped, I think it's helpful that I stopped giving Wyatt this steriod nose spray for his allergies (his attitude has greatly improved), I think it's helpful to do school in the afternoon, I think it is helpful that the planning part of MOPS is over, and we are almost on cruise-control, but most of all I can't help to deny the fact that God moves mountains during intense prayer and fasting.

At our most recent MOPS meeting this past Wednesday, we had a lady come and speak to our group about being resilient mothers. It was a GREAT topic, and she taught it so well. She had charts, and cartoon drawings, and a power point presentation...but her simplest point is what struck a chord with me. She said plainly that, "Sometimes as mothers, we have to take a pass. A passing grade. Sometimes, we have to throw up our hands, and accept the 'B'. We cannot be perfect all of the time."

I looooved this. Many people have told me that we cannot be perfect all of the time...but that is so generic. Many people have told me that sometimes we just have to settle for a "C" or a "D" in life, as that is still not failing...but that is unacceptable to me...I do NOT want to be average (or below)! BUT, a "B"!?...I can live with! I will still strive for the "A", becuase that's just who I am. But occasionally, I can be cool with taking the "B" for my own sanity, and for those that have to deal with my drive.

So, in God's usual humor, this speach happened on Wednesday, and the very next day I had an opportunity to exercise what I had learned. When I woke on Thursday, I looked at my calendar and began to feel anxious at the towering list of things to do. I needed to workout, take Wyatt to piano lessons, shop for the ingredients I would be using to make some amazing desserts this weekend, go to our mommy & me park day, do some minor work during the kids nap time, prep one of the desserts, go to a birthday party, put the kids to bed, help my mom decorate her house for Halloween, and finally go.to.bed. I was overwhelmed, but I COULD DO IT! I got my workout in, and then we were rushing off to piano lessons! But in the space of time of piano lessons, when I am forced to be still for 30 minutes, and soley focus on reading my Beatrice some books, or just sit on the porch swing and listen to Wyatt play piano while Beatrice is playing in the instructor's front yard, it dawned on me..."WHY?...Why are you doing this? You were feeling so good for the last few days, why are you trying to be Super Woman?" I knew in that moment that I was going to for-go something, and take the "B". I never back out of anything...especially when I have said I will be there, but I did it! I decided to skip out on the park day. And after I had made my decision, literally 10 minutes later I got a call that the park day had been canceled (I later found out that it wasn't, but whatever, in the moment I felt good that the kids and I were not missing out.) And then, a couple of hours later, I got a phone call from my friend letting me know that the birthday party was canceled. Mercy was showering down on me. My schedule was immediately doable, and peace had returned. :0)

The kids and I had so much fun at the specialty candy store picking out the treats for the desserts, and we even had time after dinner for all of us to chase Wyatt on his bike.

I'm beginning to think that a "B" is the new "A".

Counting My Blessings...

I have determined that fasting is like an extreme case of PMS...one moment I am on the most wonderful spiritual high...and the next moment I am totally aggravated that my kids are chewing with their mouths open, and my husband is telling me the same story he told me last week.

But in THIS moment, I am counting my blessings... :0)

1. I have such a serene feeling in my heart right now. It is amazing. My children have been angelic this past week, and I have loved spending every day with them. Like wise, my husband has been a gem. I feel unworthy of his love and helpfulness. My cup runneth over in appreciation for those that share this home with me. :0)

2. About a week and a half ago, I went to find an outfit to wear to these past 2 weddings, and I had HORRIBLE fortune in doing so. I was literally crying in the dressing room. Either the stores flat out didn't have the size I needed (FRUSTRATING!), or when I did find my size, the outfits just looked "OK" (WAAA!). I did NOT want to spend over $100 to look "OK". :0( I ended up buying $55 pants, and told myself that I would just have to figure out a shirt from my closet. A girlfriend was watching my kiddos (Shout out to Kimberly!) while I attempted this task, and when I returned to her home defeated, she lent me an ADORABLE shirt to wear! The following day my sister Jenni came over with another super CUTE shirt to wear! God is GOOD! A couple hours after Jenni came to my house, I went to another friend's house (shout-out to Katie!) to pick up some items for my MOPS garage sale, and she had me try on 3 different dresses. They WORKED! I was able to return the $55 pants...MY God is not just "good", He is GREAT!

3. A few weeks ago, I had published a silly letter to my husband on my blog about some workout clothes I was in need of. Our budget allowed me to purchase a nice pair of workout pants (woohoo!), and then I was blessed with the REST of the items from my sister Jenni...SO SWEET! In addition to that, a couple of days later I got a random phone call from someone who doesn't even read my blog. She explained to me how she recently got a new pair of shoes, and after wearing them twice, she has discovered that she doesn't like them. She asked me if I wanted her new tennis shoes...YEAH I DO! MY God is a provider!

4. I have always loved, enjoyed, and appreciated my family, and it seems in these past few weeks our bond has been strengthened, and we have had an exceptionally fun time together. Since this is an uplifting post, I will not go into detail about the Padres (or the Chargers for that matter...GRRR!), but here is photo of me & my brother from when my family went to the padre game about 10 days ago...

5. And finally, I continue to be in AWE of His mercy and His gentleness towards me. I'm in love with my Savior! :0)

Hump Day!

Some consider "Wednesdays" to be "hump day"...my husband considers something else to "hump day", lol...but for me, HUMP DAY is all about the 20th day of the fast! Saturday was day 20, and I am now over the hump, and going down the back side of this mountain! :0)

Day 20 was another exciting day with family.

A beautiful day for another beautiful wedding at the Admiral Kidd Club in Point Loma...


Saturday my family & I celebrated at the wedding of Ben & Carly...



In true Chubby Diaries fashion, here are some pictures of the eats... :0)

The "Candy Bar"...

Jenni & Desmon enjoying the "Candy Bar"...

The regular food...

The Cake...

Other random shots...

And a special Shout-Out to my dear friend Brooke who is a reader (but not a "follower", lol) of my blog...

After the wedding, we all went and picked up our children from the various babysitters, and gathered at "Grammy Barb's" house for the annual Grand Kid Halloween Photo. My mom's birthday is on Halloween, and ever since each of us sisters has a had a child, we have gotten a picture of all of the kids together in their costumes, to give to Grammy for her birthday. This tradition is EXTREMELY stressful, the bribes are abundant, but the end result is ALWAYS worth it! The actual final photo is MUCH better, but here is just a taste of this portion of our day...
Next, we headed to the pumpkin patch, where believe it or not, we did NOT buy any food...or PUMPKINS! Lol! The pumpkins were incredibly pricey at this location, and so the kids lived it up at all of the pumpkin patch attractions (on Grammy's dime) and we will buy pumpkins elsewhere this week.

Following that adventure, we ended our evening by dining together at Chilli's. I enjoyed a DELICIOUS broth, and my BIL David had this...

Seriously...this thing was a MONSTER!...
Saturday was a LOT of fun...but left me 100% drained. We were home around 7:30pm, and we were all bathed, and in bed before 8pm. Nice!

Two Weeks In...

Day 15 of the fast has arrived...I'm over a 1/3 of the way done...27 days remain...but who's counting!?

Not eating during this past weekend was every bit as difficult as I had expected. And specifically, Saturday, the day of my Uncle's Memorial, was the most trying. I don't want to say tempting, as I was never tempted to go off of the fast, but certainly there is a level of, "I wish I could eat...look at all of those amazing flavors that I am missing out on"...pray, pray, pray...

The Memorial was wonderful...despite the not eating part. My family is incredible, and it was wonderful to be amongst the company of them all...at one time...in one location. The first part of the Memorial was a time of reflection. My sister Jenni made a BEAUTIFUL tribute video of my Uncle's life. Then, a few close relatives got up and spoke. It was really neat to hear their stories and perspectives of my Uncle Marc.

Following the Memorial, the immediate family went back to my Uncle's house, where more eating took place, LOL! I could go on and on about how great (and difficult) Saturday was, but I will stop there. :0) Here are a few pictures...

The food...and family, lol....


Beetle & I in our Uncle Marc props...


Beatrice in her new red boots...
Sunday was the day of the evening wedding we attended in Fallbrook. The location was STUNNING, and the company was even better! My family hosts a lot of parties and gatherings, and it was so nice to attend an event that my family was not hosting...no responsibilities! Kids were not invited...NO responsibilities! :0) This wedding was for a dear friend of the family. They are as close to "family" as it gets. They even attended my Uncle's Memorial the day before.

My mom and siblings and I had a great night of talking, dancing, and LAUGHING hysterically. The food looked amazing, and my peeps were kind enough to tell me just how awesome it really was, LOL! Here are a few pictures from the wedding...


Gorgeous wedding...


The food...



My Brother & I...

The four siblings...


Just the girls...


Besties (My sister Jenni & I)....


Being silly...

Desmon (Jenni's Husband) has lost over 30lbs, and on his "off of dieting day" he was enjoying his 2nd piece of cake...
As of this morning I am down 21 lbs since camping. That part of the fast is pretty cool, lol, and I am praying that when I start eating again (even with a low cal diet) that I will not pack on too many of the pounds I am losing. One can pray, right!?!?