Yikes, this might have been the very longest pause in between letters to you...sorry about that!
Things continued to be a roller coaster since the last time I wrote you. I was mostly on program though.
However, there was a vacation in the mountains where I was not watching my caloric intake. But, I was proud of myself for not abandoning fitness as well. I managed to go for a run while we were in Big Bear, and my laps around the cabin were tracked in pine cones...
It is NOOOOO pasta!!! However, it was a healthy food that wasn't terrible to get down. I will definitely make it again! (I just won't be telling myself that it's pasta, lol!)
SO, I definitely didn't hit my goal weight this year. Near the end of November I realized it was mathematically impossible for me to make goal. At the time, that knowledge was actually a relief, and a bit freeing. I didn't have plans to throw my WW ways out the window, but the pressure and anxiety to make goal by the end of the year was gone.
But as the end of the year approached, I was reflecting on my journey this past 12 months, and the feelings of disappointment of not reaching goal arrived. :0(
The truth of the matter is, is that reaching my goal WAS totally doable. I was very consistent the first 6 months of the year, and I was absolutely on track to meet goal with no problem. But the 2nd half of the year, I just kept messing around. I'd lose some...I'd gain some...and as you know, I would repeat that cycle for weeks and weeks, and months and months. The last time I was awarded any type of recognition at WW was in July, when I reached the 50 pound marker. I DID achieve additional weight loss beyond the 50 pounds, on my own personal scale at home, but on the days/weeks when I did that, by the time I had attended my WW meeting, I had messed up on my diet, and I was back to a weight I had already been on their scale.
While I was having this time of reflection (a.k.a. beat-up-on-Elizabeth-moment), it dawned on me to look at pictures of myself from this time last year.
I was shocked at what I found!
This is a side-by-side of me on Christmas Eve 2011 and Christmas Eve 2012...
But the TRUTH is, is that I DID make GREAT PROGRESS towards my goal!
After seeing these pictures it was impossible to continue my pity party. I was really proud of what I did accomplish this year. Even though I am not at my goal weight, I am more fit. Even though I didn't make goal, I didn't give up. I definitely had moments/days/weeks of "fail," but I didn't turn my back for long...and that shows...in these pictures. :0)
This past week I was doing some organizing around our house, and I came across some of these old binders I used to keep/maintain/add-to. One of the binders was a collection of diets. I had no idea I even had this binder (it's been a really long time since I've looked at these binders, lol)...it was so sad. I came across like 10 different diets in that binder...Atkins, Cabbage Soup, Jillian Michaels, No-Sugar, binge-1hr-a-week only, yada yada yada. As I was browsing (and tossing) these diets, I was so sad for the girl that used to try these things...and try them on a regular basis. I hope I never return to that girl. These fad diets aren't healthy, and they aren't "real life." I need be on a plan like WW, where you eat normal foods, and practice self control in eating those normal foods. Otherwise, just as I did in the past, I will crash diet...it doesn't stick, because it's not real-life-living, and then the weight will come back on. It is definitely still a learning experience for me...but I want my results to be real...to stay. So I will continue on this WW journey for another year. :0)
To wrap it all up, my final weigh-in at WW in the year 2012 was on Christmas Eve...at that time, my total weight loss was 44.4 pounds for the year. While it could/should have been more, it is still a significant loss for one year. I'm happy. :0)
Thanks for all of your motivation J Hud, 2012 was a wild ride on the scale!
Your Biggest Fan,
Elizabeth
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