Dear Jennifer Hudson (Week 17)

Dear Jennifer Hudson,

Oh how the mighty have fallen...hard. I did not have a good OR bad week on the scale...I had a HORRIBLE weigh-in today. I was up 7 pounds! :-0 For a normal person, that would equate to being up like 3 pounds, but for whatever reason, my body can gain weight rapidly...and can lose weight rapidly.

I was in a funk this week.

From the very beginning of the week I was EXHAUSTED!...I took 3 naps this week, and I NEVER nap! I was CRAZY HUNGRY every day, my forehead broke out with blemishes, I felt sick to my stomach a few days, AND I was such a cry baby over big things (a friend passed away), and over little things (blogs I had read, a silly weight loss poem, spilling my drink, etc.)

I was convinced I was pregnant.

Even though I knew it was less than 1% possible, lol.

But I took a test.

And of course it was negative.

I texted my sister the description of my issues, and she proceeded to tell me that I was crazy, lol, and that it sounds like all of this was just a result of me doing the Insanity workouts.

She's probably right.

I continued to do the Insanity workouts at the beginning of last week, but by Thursday I had thrown in the towel. Instead, I went and had frozen yogurt with my family, and that made me royally sick. :0(

I was good on my diet Tuesday, Wednesday, and most of Thursday...but most of Friday through Monday I was not. I played Bunco with friends on Saturday night, and I ate pizza, and lasagna, and garlic bread...and then I snacked on popcorn, and candy all night. I told myself that "tomorrow is a new day"...but I stumbled again on Sunday. On Sunday night, after "family dinner," I told myself that "tomorrow is a new day." But I stumbled again on Monday. (I DID manage to do an Insanity workout on Monday though.) I felt defeated. I was slipping into old patterns. Always telling myself "tomorrow is a new day"...but tomorrow was always the same as the day before. On Monday night, I did NOT want to go to my WW meeting in the morning! I weigh myself everyday, and so I knew that I had already gained a bunch of weight. I didn't need my WW leader to tell me that information. I had decided that I just wasn't going to go to the meeting.

But after waking up on a "new day", I decided that I WAS going to go the meeting. I was going to have to eat a huge helping of humble pie, but I needed to brake my cycle of old habits. I needed to get back on the program, and the only way to do that was to GO TO THE PROGRAM!

I am so glad I did.

It was nice to be surrounded by people who know exactly what I am going through, because they are going through the same thing, at the same time I am.

After my WW leader had weighed me in, and after I had expressed dissapointment in myself, she looked at me and said..."Elizabeth, you are not perfect...so why do you think you are going to be "perfect" at weight loss?"

Got it.

And God is super cool. Any time I have been given a WW award in the past, it has always been a result of something I have achieved on the scale...losing 5 pounds, losing 10 pounds, reaching my 10% goal, losing 25 pounds, etc. But this week...even though I gained weight...I was still given an award. I was given my "16 week" clapping hands charm...



It couldn't have come at a better time in my journey. The week I desperately did NOT want to go to a meeting, I was rewarded for just that...going to a meeting...for 16 weeks. (Technically I've been doing WW for 17 weeks, but because I didn't weigh-in a couple of weeks ago when I went to L.A. they only have record of me being a part of the group for 16 weeks.)

Even though I hadn't shared my struggles with anyone other than my sister, I had received a super duper encouraging card in the mail on Saturday, and my mom left me a great motivational voicemail on Sunday. The words those 2 ladies shared with me have continued to keep ringing in my ears. I want to be what they say I am.

Today IS the new day.

My WW leader read the following poem today...

Food can fill our stomachs.
It cannot fill our souls.

Food can nourish our bodies.
It cannot nourish our hearts and minds.

Food can make our taste buds happy.
It cannot make us happy.

Food can give momentary pleasure.
It cannot give lasting pleasure.

Food can distract us from our pain.
It cannot take away our pain.

-Author unknown

And in our WW "Weekly", an article was written that said, "I believe that I can do it. Whether I say I can, or I can't, I'm right. So I have to believe that I can."

Your humbled fan,
Elizabeth