"Sweet Sixteen"...it turns out it's not so sweet.

I knew this run was coming for a while. Each time I saw this 16 mile run on the schedule, I kept saying to myself, "I know the title of THAT blog post...Sweet Sixteen!" My runs have been overall extremely pleasant and encouraging, and I couldn't wait to report how sweet this 16 mile run was. But it turns out, sixteen miles weren't so sweet. :0(

Per my new usual, I wanted to mix things up again. I have grown tired of running in circles. I have been running my 3 mile loop around my neighborhood again and again to equal the distance needed, and on occasion, I have ran the 5 mile loop around Lake Miramar over and over again to accomplish the required distance. But this week, I wanted to map out a run that would be one solid loop.

I drove to a couple of locations earlier in the week that I thought FOR SURE were 8 miles away from my house so I could just run there, and then back. But as usual, I have ZERO perception of distance! Each time, I came up short. I thought the kids' dance studio was at least 8 miles away from our house, but it turns out it is just 4.5 miles away. And I thought running to Target was about 6 miles away, but it was just 3 miles away. I'm an idiot!

My friend (shout out to Katie!) told me about a cool website that you can map out your run, and then it will calculate the mileage, and graph the elevation for you...I was stoked!!! After a very shocking experience about realizing just how flippin' far 16 miles was, I organized a run that was a solid 16 mile loop from my home. The run took me to and through the city of Jamul. At the bottom of the web page, I noticed the elevation graph which reported a substantial 3 mile uphill climb. There were additional up (and then down) hills, but there was one very drastic climb.

Unfortunately for me, not only do I not comprehend distance, but I also have no understanding of elevation. When I look at a graph, I have no idea if that hill is equal to what I run around my neighborhood...or even at worse, something closer to what I ran when I ran up Mt. Helix a couple of weeks ago. I made a mental note to drive the course before I actually ran it on Saturday.

Except...I didn't make that happen. I let the week get away from me, and then next thing I knew it was Saturday morning, and I didn't do my "homework". :0( In my head I had no choice but to follow the route I had mapped out, and I just told myself that "the hill" would be nothing larger than anything I had conquered in the past.

I set out, and as usual, the first mile bit the big one...but what's new!? I just had to get warmed up. Which shouldn't have been too difficult...even though I had left my house before 8am, the morning sun was already making heat waves. Within 15 minutes, I took another mental note to start wearing sunscreen on my runs.

At about 1.5 miles in, I ran past my YMCA. That was kind of cool to run past the place that I usually get my workout from. I continued on Campo Rd and that was pretty much the last time I saw normal civilization for a whiiiiile.

I had made it up some inclines and I felt fairly strong. I past by 2 horse ranches, several dead rabbits, a couple of dead birds, a dead snake, 2 pennies, and then this sign that was set up outside a shabby house out in the country...



Despite it's crudeness, it gave me a good chuckle! :0)

At 4 miles in, I met my mountain. :0(

If I had driven the course first, I would like to think I would have been smart enough to devise a new route. The mountain was larger than my ability. It would be 3 miles up this monster. I told myself, "one foot in front of the other...JUST.DO.IT" And so I did. It was so incredibly difficult. It's by far the hardest thing I have ever physically done in my life.

Even though I am training with a few other friends/family I felt all alone that day. My friend Katie is running with a new running club, and their run this week was only 10 miles. Jenni completed 9 miles at the lake, and then decided to stop and do another 3 miles at the beach. And finally, my dad is still recovering from his aches and pains last week, and he wasn't attempting the run at all. Not only was no one running this mountain with me, but no one was even doing the distance I was doing. That was discouraging.

But I kept one foot in front of the other, I avoided the occasional car/truck flying around the mountainous corners, and eventually I made it to the top. But there was no cause for celebration, I was tired. And I knew, "What goes up, must come down."

In a normal situation, I embrace running down a slope after running up an incline for a bit. But this was not your normal little slope. This was a steep hill and I felt every step in my feet, my knees, and now my back.



Before I left my house, I told my husband to come looking for me if I wasn't back in 3 hours. Many times on this run I wanted to give up. I wanted to stop right in my tracks, sit down on the side of the road, and wave the (imaginary) white flag. But during my head trips, I realized that eventually 3 hours in time would pass...and at the end of those 3 hours, I could either be sitting on the side of the road defeated, or I could be sitting on my couch becuase I had made it home from a 16 mile run. I kept going.

Eventually, I made it to the bottom, and I could see the mountain behind me that I had just ran up...and then down...



I was wishing that that was the finish line. I had given it my all, and I was spent. But unfortunately, I was only 10 miles into my run...I had 6 more miles to go!!! Even though I wasn't technically lost (because I had written directions in my fuel belt), I felt lost. I have never driven these streets, so nothing looked familiar. There wasn't a 7/11 I had passed everyday, and the golf courses I was running by were foreign to me.



I missed the familiarity of my usual "loops". The completion of a loop meant that I had just 3 more to go, or 2 more to go, or...etc. This run was like a never ending nightmare. I kept going.

After more running, lol, I made it into "town" and things felt like home again. I stopped in at my local Jack in the Box to use the restroom, and to splash some cool water on my HOT face and shoulders.

I hit the streets again with 3 more miles to go. At this point, I knew where everything was, and the head trips started in again. I started contemplating taking a shortcut home. It was SOOO tempting. "The difficulty of the run certainly equaled 16 miles."..."It's too hot to be running in this weather."..."Your body has new aches, just stop."

2 young runners passed me in the street and said, "You are doing great!" How did they know!?

I told myself, that I couldn't do this run in vain. I didn't just run up and down a mountain to cheat myself out of saying, "I ran 16 miles today." I kept going. I texted my husband and let him know I was almost home.

Right before I ran through my doors, I looked at my phone and realized I had ran 16 miles in 3 hours and 5 minutes. Considering that I had ran 15 miles in 2 hours and 32 minutes last week, that was a HORRIBLE time! :0(

I ran through my doors defeated, and the first thing my husband (who had been cleaning the entire house while I was gone, and watching the kids) said to me was, "What took you so long?"

I burst into tears.

Rick: Oh. I guess that was the wrong thing to say. (HAHAHAHAHA!)

In the moment I had no idea how I would be able to run one more mile, let alone another 10 miles to complete a full (26.2 mile) marathon in just 50 days!

But in the last 36 hours I have reminded myself over and over that the marathon will NOT be like this terrain AT ALL! AND, even though I wanted to quit over 100 times during this run, I never did...I ran all 16 miles...and if I was psychotic enough to get through this run...I might just be psychotic enough to push myself through 26.2 miles come race day!!!

It didn't heal my aches and pains, but my celebratory lunch at our new Mexican food joint did help my mood a bit. :0)



"In your life you'll do things greater than dating the boy on the football team, but I didn't know it at fifteen."- Taylor Swift, "Fifteen"

A Time of Refelection

It seems as though the marathon training had hit a plateau. In the previous 5 weeks (on our long runs) I had ran 10 miles, 13 miles, 12 miles, 13 miles, and then 10 miles again. It all seemed so familiar. But this weekend we had to progress a bit. We launched ourselves to a 15 mile run! And even though it was only a progression of 2 miles on my longest distance I had previously achieved, it felt big. I had great excitement, and some anxiety about the run. The combination of those 2 emotions are thrilling! It had been 4 weeks since I felt those same butterflies (before the half marathon).

The Friday before the big run, I gave carb-loading my best shot, LOL!





Now keep in mind, I have done a lot of research about marathon training...I know the difference between "good carbs" and "bad carbs". My whole-grain spaghetti lunch above is a fuel-rich-meal...where as the giant slice of chocolate cake is empty and mostly useless carbs. But when you are (supposed to be) dieting, but have the green light to eat carbohydrates, AND you are at a birthday party where someone places a piece of cake in front of you...you are gonna eat (most of) it...at least I did!

With the progression of these runs, I am starting to have scheduling conflicts. :0( Rick only has every-other weekend off...and now my runs exceed the time limit (2 hours) that I can have the kiddos in the childcare at the gym. For the remaining 8 weeks, 2 of them I am going to have to rely on grandparents to watch the kids, and on the actual marathon itself, I have a dear friend of the family (shout out to Grammy Barb!) that will be caring for the kids.

When I signed up for this marathon, I IGNORANTLY went into it thinking it was a personal decision I was making for myself. I was going to be the one running it...it would only affect me. I have literally never been more wrong about anything in my entire life. This marathon is not just about casually running through your neighborhood!

I have spent SO MUCH MORE money than I ever expected...more than just the fee of the marathon itself. I bought a gym membership, 2 pairs of shoes, and other clothing/accessories. Some of these expenses were covered by gift cards for my birthday, but we had to budget for the rest...and God has been faithful to provide. :0)

I never thought this decision would inconvenience my husband...but on his days off, or even on the days that he is not off...but feels awake enough to watch the kids so I can go run outside, he has sacrificially put his desires aside so I can accomplish this goal. He has been supportive, encouraging, and has never made me feel bad or guilty for making this decision that most definitely affects him also.

I knew the marathon training would shake up our schedule a bit, but I never thought the kids would be affected as much as they have!!! But by the grace of Our Lord, it has only been for good! While the gym is supposed to be a cool thing for me, I had much anxiety about putting my kids in the childcare while I worked out. For as long as we have been parents, Rick and I have taken care of our children. We have never put them in a daycare, a pre-school, we have elected to home school our children, and only on 2 occasions have we hired a non-family member to babysit our children. This has been my greatest mental obstacle in this marathon process. Fortunately, my children (especially Beatrice!) LOVE the childcare program at the YMCA. They ask to go. God is so good to have made that a seamless transition. But in addition to the gym situation, is all the running in general...all that running equals time away from the kiddos. Some days its nice to have a break, and other days I feel guilty for spending that time away from them. Especially as these runs get longer.

This was not a personal decision. It turns out, this was a decision I had made for my whole family.

Anyway, not sure why I got side-tracked. Oh that's right...Saturday's run...I had 2 obstacles...Rick had to work, so he couldn't watch the kids...AND, Wyatt's drum class is at 11:15am on Saturday mornings...so no matter the distance of the run, I need to be done in time to take him to that.

It turns out that my step-mom was able to watch the kids this weekend, and since it's less than 5 minutes from their house, my dad and I did our 15 mile run at Lake Miramar.



The location of this run increased my anxiety. My dad and I have only ran together on two occasions. On both occasions we ran at Lake Miramar...and on both occasions we did not complete the runs without issue. The first time we ran together it was just a 5 mile run. My dad and I had independent seamless runs up until this point, but on this day, my dad was having heart rate issues, and we had to stop multiple times for him to catch his breath and re-group. We completed the 5 miles that day, but I did not feel good about it. The second occasion was the Saturday we were supposed to run 7 miles, and I had gotten sick the night before. I decided to do the run despite not feeling well, and the experience was a complete failure! Lake Miramar has been a mental block for me since. I have had zero interest in going back.

But none-the-less, that is the location that was most convenient, and we set out at 7am...





Just a couple of miles into the run, we met up with my sister Jenni.



She had started at 6:30am, and was running in the opposite direction from us. She finds the run to be easier if she runs the course backwards. I'm telling you, this marathon journey is every bit as mental as it is physical...you do what you gotta do!!!

After we exchanged "hello's" (and a QUICK snapshot, lol) we were off running again! It was incredibly cold outside, but felt great! I felt like I was icing my knees during the run so I wouldn't have to do it post-run, LOL! (That was not the case.)

My dad and I run at the same pace, and although we are listening to our individual ipods, it's still nice to have him by my side...bumping fists at each of the mile markers.

I felt strong. I felt fast.

But it wouldn't be a "Dad & Cheech run at Lake Miramar" without imperfection. :0( At mile 8 my dad was in great discomfort. His hip flexor had been an issue all week, and it was wreaking havoc on him during our run. In addition to that, he was wearing new shoes, and he was getting crazy blisters (which I saw post-race) on his feet. He ran an additional mile, but at the 9 mile marker he had to call it quits. :0( Lake Miramar is a 5 mile loop, so at the 9 mile marker, he still had to walk 1 mile to the truck. He told me to go on ahead, and I did.

I was concerned for my dad, but I stayed focused. I was able to pass my sister a few more times (which was GREAT fun and excitement) and I took in God's beautiful creation..



During those final (solo) 6 miles, I kept contemplating how far I have come, and how much farther I still have to go. Both sides of the coin are CRAZY to think about. On that day I had to run around the lake 3 times, and in just 5-1/2 weeks (2 weeks before the marathon) I will need to run 4 laps around the lake...20 miles. That's insanity! ;0)

After all of my pondering of different scenarios, I eventually made it back to the "Start"...also known as the "Finish"!!!



I was elated. I was on a high. I ran the entire 15 miles in 2 hours and 32 minutes. That's an incredible time for me! Considering that I ran the half marathon (13 miles) in 2 hours 22 minutes, this was like flying...I was shocked with my timing! :0)

The high lasted for a quite awhile, and then the physical exhaustion eventually set in. I was pretty sore by the end of the day. I napped when the kids napped, and iced my knees a couple of times.

But by Sunday, I felt 98% normal, and hit the gym for an hour of cardio.

Things increase again this week. I have a 4 mile, an 8 mile (that I have to do on a treadmill, booooo!), another 4 mile, and then a 16 mile run this weekend. The thought of these runs are exciting and tiring all at the same time. :0)

Guest Blogger Follow-Up

I wanted to take a moment to let you all know how Medifast went. As a reminder you eat 5 of their "meals" a day, and then 1 lean and green meal a day that you provide. The first week was GREAT!!! I had way more energy, and even though I was hungry, I was still motivated to keep going and NOT cheat. Because this is the "chubby diary" it's all about the numbers, right?!?! First week I lost 7 lbs.!!! Week 2...still had lot's of energy, but the food was getting boring. We were hosting a Superbowl party at the end of the week and all I could think about was CHEATING. So, after 2 weeks of dedication to Medifast, and dreaming about all the yummy foods I would eat on Superbowl Sunday, I took a day off of Medifast and ate the party treats. Unfortunately, prior to my cheat day I had only lost 1 lb. for the week, and when I weighed myself the following Monday morning, I had gained 2 lbs. :( Even though it was nice to take a break from the diet food, I must admit that the pancakes, guacamole, pizza, etc. that I ate on Sunday didn't taste nearly as good as I thought they would...I knew I was cheating, and not really changing my habits that got me fat in the first place. My Grandma used to have a magnet that read "Nothing tastes as good as being thin feels"...it's SO true! Week 3...I spent the first 3 days losing the 2 lbs, and then lost another 5 lbs. woohoo!!! Week 4...was AWFUL!!!!!! Hungry was an understatement! All I could think about was food. I was short with my kids, husband, co-workers, family, didn't answer my phone for friends or family. I wanted to grab a box of cereal and some milk and hide in the closet. I hated that I was fat and even had to lose weight, I was going through some serious mental head games...aaaaand the scale was doing nothing for my motivation, I only lost 1lb. Come to find out that also during week 4 I was PMSing...so that was no help. My grand total weight loss on Medifast in 4 weeks was 14lbs.! Not bad at all. :) It's been about 6 weeks since I stopped Medifast, and here's my take...It's a great plan! Since being on it I no longer crave sugar, soda, or fast food. I have kept the weight off, and would ABSOLUTELY do Medifast again (and probably will very soon).

Jenni

Keeping Up with THIS Kardashian!

When you are a family that has "Basic Cable", one of the cool things about going to the gym, is walking on a treadmill and browsing through their 500 channels! I have reconnected with my love of "Food Network", and "A Baby Story" (cry EVERY time!). And in the last 5 +/- months I have been introduced for the first time to "Cake Boss", "DC Cupcakes", Joan River's "Fashion Police", and on 2 occasions I have been at the gym when "The Kardashian's" were on! I knoooooow this show adds nothing positive (or negative) to my life, but certainly it is entertaining. This family is extreme, but the connection between the 3 sisters and their mother, on many levels, reminds me of my own relationships with my 2 sisters and our mother. Within 24 hours of watching this show, I had seen the invitation for my sister Jenni's Mother-In-Law's Hollywood-Themed-50th-Birthday-Party (did you follow that?). Even though I wasn't initially invited, I knew that I had to be at that party...and that I wanted to go as Kim Kardashian! (Ummmm...who wouldn't want to look like her for a night!?)

Within a few days I had gotten my "clearance" to go to the party, and I was on Cloud 9! Like Kim (becuase I know her so well, LOL) I love a good party! Jenni's in-laws have a BEAUTIFUL home, and they know how to have a good time!

Within a few days, I was doubting my ability to be Kim K., and instead I switched my costume to "Snookie" from Jersey Shore (never seen it, but if a girl that never has time to listen to the radio, and only has basic cable has heard of "Snookie", I was certain that the other party guests would recognize the costume.)

I later found out that another (important) guest was going to be Snookie, and even I assumed that 1 Snookie at a party was 1 too many! ;0) Snookie was out, and Kim Kardashian was back as the front runner!

I had been working hard in the gym, and had been dedicated to my diet in the weeks leading up to this party. However, in the most previous week, I had not been so strict on my diet. I had enjoyed my final Meatball Pepperoni Sub at Subway before it left the $5 Dollar menu come April, and I had indulged in a large piece of my mom's German Chocolate Cake with the Coconut frosting 100% from scratch...best dessert you have EVER tasted! I was feeling like Kim Kardashian was fleeing from my veins and Ricky Lake was knocking on my door! :0/

But even with all of my eating, my weight gain wasn't too detrimental, and I stayed true to Kim Kardashian!





I had so much fun playing the part. I talked trash about my ex-boyfriend "Jerry Busch" (sorry I forgot your name "Reggie Busch"!), I loved owning my own clothing store "Dash" for the night, and it was fun explaining why my sisters Kourtney & Kloe couldn't be with me that night. ;0) My sister Jenni, and my brother-in-law (shout out to Desmon!) picked me up for the party (Kim prefers to be chauffeured, LOL!), and when we arrived, I got to walk a red carpet with my peeps and have our picture taken by the "TMZ Paparazzi" out in front of the party house. We didn't take any photos of our own during that moment (becuase we are dumb???), but here are some pictures of Kim getting her party on with her close friends (ahem, relatives) Lady Gaga, and Superbowl Champ Aaron Rodgers!





This isn't the best picture of Kim, but Lady Gaga was FUN-NY on the dance floor, and it's just too good not to post!



We had a wonderful evening getting our dance on with a cool DJ, and enjoying AMAZING eats! They had tray passed horse-devours, and then we were served Paella (a Spanish dish) that was cooked right in front of us, with a delicious salad, and bread.







For dessert, the birthday girl (a.k.a. Katie Perry) cut into "The Motherload" cake from Claim Jumper. I have always wanted to try this rich chocolaty cake, and it was IN.CRED.IBLE!





Here are some more/better pictures of Lady Gaga and her "Poker Face" (she cracks me up!)...







And Kim Kardashian being escorted home after a fun night...



SO glad I wasn't too bashful to invite myself! :0)

I ran to my mom's house and back.

This week in our training, our long run took a step backward...I LOVE those weeks! ;0) The past 3 weeks have been 13 miles, 12 miles, and then another 13 miles. In the training's defense I was only supposed to run 7 miles on that first run I just mentioned, but that was the week of the half-marathon at Safari Park.

This week, we just had a 10 mile run! Who knew 10 miles would seem like a short distance!? :0)

Over the past week during our mid-week runs, I got to thinking how fun it would be to switch things up again. Take my outdoor running to a new level. Branch out from the 3 mile loop around my neighborhood. I wanted to run to a destination. The first place I thought of was my mom's house. The path doesn't involve the freeway, and it takes us about 10 minutes in the car to get to her house on Mt. Helix.

I estimated that it was about 10 miles from my house to her house. As I envisioned this run, I figured that once I got to her house, I could chillax...she could pour me a glass of fresh squeezed orange juice and then get some pancake batter on the griddle. We could chat for a few minutes, talk about how great life is, and then she could shuttle me back to my house. Minus running up the side of a mountain, this run sounded wonderful! ;0)

But once I snapped back into reality, I knew I needed to turn my "estimation" into "fact". I drove the distance from my house to my mom's house to track the mileage. No surprise...I was WAY off, LOL!

It turns out that my mom only lives 4.5 miles from my house...which is kind of cool to realize, but it crushes my "dream run". :0(

New plan: Run from my house to her house, literally give her a high-five as I'm passing by, run back to my house, and then do the smaller one mile loop around my neighborhood to equal the 10 miles needed.

This week I had my iTouch charged, and the only head-tripping incident that occurred was getting the GU down. I bought my GU this week at "Big 5", and they didn't have my new best of the worst flavor "Mandarin Orange." Instead they only had the vanilla and tri-berry. I bought them. But I am having the hardest time getting the vanilla down. :0( To empty the packet it takes about 6 good-size gulps. And each gulp equaled gagging. And this week brought with it a belch on two of the gagging incidents...I was SO SURE it was all gonna come back up! But it didn't. Whew. (wiping brow)

I set out at 7:55am. Usually my 3 mile loop starts out with a downhill path, but this week I was going in the opposite direction which meant I was starting out with an uphill run. :0( Within 5 seconds I was already contemplating walking, LOL! But I didn't. After a while I got warmed up, and as I exited my neighborhood, I hit the busy street of Avocado BLVD. I have driven this road every.single.day. for the last 8 years+ and yet running it is totally different than driving it. I never noticed how loooooong the street was...and I'm guessing it felt long, becuase I had also never noticed that this long street is pretty much at a significant incline the entire time. :0( I had psyched myself up for the crazy run up the mountain when I reached that point in my journey, but I hadn't mentally prepared myself for the challenge of Avocado BLVD. I just kept telling myself that "incline" equaled calories burned, and that since I was going to be Kim Kardashian that night, calories burned was in my favor!

I eventually turned on to Fuerte Rd, and met my mountain...



The good news is, it was every bit as difficult as I imagined it would be...but no more than what I had imagined. I was able to conquer it...just one foot in front of the other. Do.not.stop.running. The scariest part was...



I had to bring my "A"-game. There was no room for error. I only had 12 inches in between the white traffic line to my left and the steep rocky ditch to my left. I couldn't allow myself to get lost in my thoughts.

It was a great run, and by the time I made it up to my mom's I felt accomplished. I realize most people don't live just 4.5 miles away from their parent's house, but it was still neat for me to say that "I ran all the way to my mom's house." The cloud cover was intact, but it's still a gorgeous view from Mt. Helix...



When I arrived at my mom's house the reality of our visit was a blend of my 2 previous ideas of what that moment would entail. I definitely wasn't staying for breakfast and a 30 minute chit-chat, but nor did I blow past her on her driveway. I did something I never do on my long runs. I stopped. :0) I went in, had a SHORT 5-10 minute visit, admired the treats that were coming out of her oven (she made these cupcakes!!!...)



...I used the facilities, and then I was off again! Lucky for me, all of the mountains and hills I had to run up on the way to her house, I got to run down on my way home.

This really was a fun experience!

Just Beachy

I have been waiting for and craving a solid a beach day!!! My schedule is usually pretty packed, and the weather isn't always sunny during this season...but this week afforded the opportunity for some chill time, and GORGEOUS HOT DAYS!

Now that my figure is slimming down, adventures in the water are a lot more appealing.

Don't get me wrong, I have never let my "chubbiness" stop me from bringing the kids to our community pool. Nor have I hesitated in packing up our gear and heading to the beach when the moment presented itself. However, in the midst of looking forward to an afternoon in the sun, I would ponder how much I did not want to have to wear a bathing suit in front of others in that size.

And again, I must state, I'm not delusional. I know I'm currently not thin. I know I have quite a bit more weight to lose. BUT, I am greatly improved. :0) And with that comes the confidence to wear a bathing suit at the beach without something covering it.

And what was equally as fun as rocking the suit, was buying it! :0) This is usually a dreaded feat. In the past, I first had to find (a minimal) selection of suits that actually fit. And then I had to narrow those suits down to "the best of the worst". And even then, I would feel most comfortable wearing clothes over my suit until the very last minute that I was about ready to enter the water.

My new suit is still modest, and I will not be posting swim suit pics on my blog, but as soon as I got to the beach I took off my cover-up-dress and sported the suit for the next 4+ hours. Little milestones.

We spent the day with Katie's family. The kiddos played perfectly together!

The boys kept ruffing each other up while playing "King of the Mountain" with pool noodles on the huge mound of sand at the lifeguard tower.

The girls were perfectly content to build sandcastles, snack with their mamas, and jump over the mini-waves. :0)

I got to lay out and catch a few rays that were imperative to my Kim Kardashian costume. ;0) I rode a few solid waves on the boogie board, and Katie and I were able to have great conversation that didn't involve the use of our cell phones...so foreign, LOL! :0)

The day was perfect.

(Until that night when Wyatt vomited in our van, and 3+ days later I'm still trying to get the smell out...GAG! Thursday offered me the highest high, and the lowest low, LOL!)



Before...


After...

Guest Blogger #2

Hi, my name is Anna F. and I'm a compulsive eater. Food and I have a very dysfunctional relationship! I need food to survive, however, I over indulge in any situation that offers food. I'm an emotional eater...happy :0), sad :0( or whenever I act (because it is just that...an "act" aka procrastinating on chores) bored I'll eat.

I joined the wave of friends and family losing weight at the end of October. People have been doing it for decades but for me, this is a NEW experience! I'm 31 years old and have still been carrying the weight of my 3 pregnancies...dating back a whole 7 1/2 years ago! I never lost the weight before the next pregnancy so it was weight piling up and piling up (to be exact...piling up on my butt, boobs, hips, arms, face...OK, easier yet...where ever fat cells live! lol). After our youngest Nathan (who is now 4 1/2 yrs), was born with heart and liver failure at birth and spent the first 5 weeks in the NICU and then in and out of the hospital up until age 2, I turned to food for comfort like I had never done before. By then for sure it was truly a habit and my body craved the sugar, caffeine, carbs, salt, etc. I was officially an addict of junk food! Nathan has done a remarkable job in the last 18 months and for the 1st time in the last 6 years (because again, I was prego so I was eating for two during those 6 years...but I think more like eating for 5 at a time! lol), I feel like I can let down some of my guards, I am NOT having anymore babies ;0) and I can actually squeeze in some time for myself. Ideally, that "me time" would be spent getting a mani/pedi, getting my hair did or getting a full body massage...BUT NOPE, my reality of "me time" is at the YMCA where childcare is included in my membership price. Hahahaha...

At first it was my mentality starting to change. Logically, I knew that if I wanted a good quality of life when my grandkids are born one day, then I couldn't keep going down my destructive path of eating like a mad woman. In 1 week I had seen 3 VERY obese people in electric wheelchairs and who knows why they were initially in need of those chairs but I kept picturing myself in one of those chairs in 10-15 yrs (at most) because I was so large that I couldn't comfortably walk. I didn't and don't want that lifestyle for myself or my family. My oh so loving and kind Uncle Marc passed away in Sept 2010. He died from cancer...this particular cancer that could have been prevented had he never been a smoker (I am in no way trying to be insensitive, it's just a fact). More and more real life situations were happening all around me (some were of my own) that had a background of people (and me) getting to a point (good or bad) of rewards or consequences based on their choices in life. I have/had let Nathan's health and delays dictate my moods and self medicate with food. After a couple of months of brewing on the idea of making a lifestyle change, I did it. I ACTUALLY DID IT!!! I realized I wasn't helping Nathan in any way, shape or form by eating that way. I realized that my guilt of thinking that if I only focus on Nathan (all my kids really) and not at all on myself, then I was being a "good" and "loving" mommy because I was putting them first. My problem and crazy mentality was, I was doing the opposite! They are young so they DO come first in MANY components of my day BUT not to the point of sacrificing my health.

Since October 2010 I have lost 23 lbs, and have gone down 2 pants sizes. I follow (not strictly) the Weight Watchers program, work out 3-4 times a week and follow my best tip...not eating past 7 p.m. (but try not to eat past 6 p.m. since I go to bed earlier lately). Even on my best days/week I lose weight S-U-P-E-R slow but my body is also forgiving if I have a bbq pulled pork sandwich and fries at Chili's the night before. ;0) I enjoy good food so I am learning moderation and not depriving myself of the "extras" that I do want to enjoy...just not at every meal or between meals for that matter.

I must humbly say that I have a LOOOOOONG road of weight loss ahead of me...but seriously, it's just 1 day at a time. I have to put blinders on and remind myself that this is my journey and do not get discouraged (easier said than done!) by the speedier (is that even a word?! lol) weight loss of others around me.

-Anna (the FAVORITE sister of Elizabeth)

P.S. These are my favorite 100 Calorie Snacks...