I need to catch you up on the past 2 weeks.
With regard to weight loss, the past 2 weeks have been polar opposites from each other.
In week 47 I continued on in my weight loss journey with determination and strength. I was consistent in exercise, and in my food choices. I attended the WW meeting prior to Thanksgiving, and we were given such AMAZING nutrition facts during that meeting. I was well educated and totally PUMPED to be successful through the upcoming holiday dinner. I had purchased a size "medium" dress about a month ago specifically for Thanksgiving. There were times in this past month that I wasn't confident in whether or not the dress would fit come Thanksgiving Day, but on more than one occasion when I was tempted to eat poorly, I would think about that size medium dress hanging in my closet, and it would motivate me to stay strong and make a healthy food choice. My efforts in the days/weeks/months...almost a year in fact...paid off! I rocked that size medium on Thanksgiving Day!!! :0)
However, I did not uphold my eating goals for actual Thanksgiving Day. Instead, per usual-Elzabeth, I sent my sound mind on holiday (as they say in Europe) for the holiday. I ate so much food on that Thursday! And in all honesty, I didn't even hold out until dinner to start the feasting. I was doing last minute prep-work for the event at my mom's house in the morning, and I began munching on anything and everything that looked tasty at that time. I messed up the whole the day. When I had mentioned on facebook some of the food I had consumed that morning, a friend had commented that it was OK, but that the hard part was just that we had to stick to eating bad on just this one day. Boy did her words ring TRUE! Thanksgiving was last Thursday, and now it's Wednesday...almost a whole week has passed, and today is the first day that I have been back on the WW program...and I say this VERY cautiously as the day isn't over yet...there is still PLENTY of time to mess up today as well!
Logically, I should have wanted to get back on WW the day after Thanksgiving. But in reality, I didn't really care. I had mindfully chosen to enjoy the rest of the holiday weekend doing all sorts of festive things...and eating all sorts of festive things. Can you say "leftovers!?!?"...
However, the one and ONLY good choice I made on Tuesday was NOT weighing myself before my WW meeting. If I had weighed myself before my meeting, I am 99.9999999% sure I would have been too ashamed to show up! I had done it again...I managed to gain another record amount of weight...sigh. The meeting was really good, and again, I am so glad I went! But after the meeting, I did not get off of that slippery slope! What is wrong with me? 2 weeks ago I felt "healed" or "cured" from overwhelming temptations, but now I was back in that all too familiar struggle.
The weekend didn't scare me because I wasn't trying to be on the program. But now that I had tried...and failed...on Monday...And tried...and failed...on Tuesday...I was feeling a bit frustrated with myself. What happened to post-fast-Elizabeth? Where was the self control?
While I continue to lack self control, I am (slightly) encouraged to say that one thing hasn't returned since the fast....and that is "the crazies." While I can ask myself questions in my head like, "Where is my self control?"...it is a rational question. My thoughts aren't desperate. I'm not feeling super anxious. I can now ask myself these types of questions, and then answer myself (OK, maybe I am crazy, lol) with calm credible evidence.
The credible evidence is that yes, occasionally, I bite the big one (excuse the pun)...BUT in 2012 I have a history of eventually getting back on the program. It may take me a few days (or almost a week) but I DO bounce back. I don't need to get anxious because my story isn't over. This is not the end for me. If I mess up once, it doesn't mean that I am going to mess up every single day for the rest of my life. I have messed up a lot this year...but I am also down 50 pounds since the beginning of 2012, so I have obviously had more success in this year than failure. Occasionally I still need to remind myself of those things.
Soooo...yesterday's tomorrow is today. Today I have been back on program (so far). The day is not without it's temptations...but thus far, through the power of prayer, I have over come those moments of weakness.
That is all I can ask of myself for right this moment.
Thanks for listening J Hud! :0)
Your Biggest Fan,
Elizabeth
No comments:
Post a Comment